Most of us relate burnout to adults with their busy schedules, stress at home and work and feeling of exhaustion. Kids can also have burnout. Kids also experience mental, physical and emotional exhaustion from school pressure, academic pressure, peer pressure, athletics and extracurricular activates. All of which can create a day full of scheduled demands. This is especially true for neurodiverse kiddos. They are working so hard to fit in, they must work harder to engage socially, they are more prone to being bullied and the stress of being “on” all day while surrounded by so many noises, people and stimuli. Every day they are trying to navigate a world built for neurotypical folks and may feel like they are treading water.
Our country’s perspectives have changed, and many kids are aware of the changes and the anger in the world even if they have not watched the news, they feel it. Kids are experiencing unsettled feelings in their families, neighborhoods and communities, but they may not know what it is. As they feel the stress and absorb it without any understanding of the cause, it creates more discomfort in their system. They are not able to make a correlation between cause – a kid bullies me, and effect – I am scared and/or sad. When the child can talk to their parents or teacher about a situation, they are more likely to find the help they need and hopefully a resolution.
When the negative and intense energy is broader than a specific situation it is difficult for even adults to identify the source of their own anxiety. As parents, it is important to keep in mind the level of anger and fear in our communities and world as we observe our children, we may identify their possible struggle with it all. When we are affected negatively it is not just that situation that causes our response and feelings, it is a much deeper wound that is at the core of our emotional response. Our world at this time is creating events that will poke that internal wound that we think we buried a long time ago, but there it is at the core of our emotional response. It is important that adults and parents understand that our kids are also exposed to these feelings and that they too have internal wounds that are affected. They may not be as deep as an adult – not yet, but they exist.
Signs of burnout in Kids
- Procrastination
- Apathy – lack of interest in things they were interested in
- Irritability
- Fear
- Difficulty concentrating
- Avoidance – not wanting to be around people, places or things that cause stress
- Complaints of more aches and pains
- School refusal
- Changes in sleep – sleeping more or getting less sleep
- Changes in eating – may eat more or less than usual
- More arguments with friends and family
- Acting out in satiation they would have been able to talk about and resolve.
Ways to support your kiddo
- Let your child know that you love them no matter what.
- Help your child use some self-regulating tools – slowed breathing, identifying objects in the room by name and color, doing some stretching, identifying sounds that they are hearing in the moment, and drinking some water. It is important parents do this with their child to normalize the feelings and the tools to release that stuck energy around that situation.
- Talk to them about their feelings and fears. Don’t be too quick to minimize their feeling, just let your child express what they feel without any judgement or trying to “fix it”.
- Help your child find balance in their activities and support them in creating more free time/down time to relax and notice their own thoughts and move at their own pace to recalibrate their nervous system
- Get them out in nature just for fun, no agenda.
- Create some fun family time with relaxing activities.
Kids are people too and they do get burned out and overwhelmed. It is critical that adults and parents take the time to notice this and talk with the child. Help them verbalize it and identify how they are holding these feelings in their bodies and help them learn ways to release these emotions.
My best to you all!
